Reflection

IM BACKKKKKKK!

mural

Here is a picture of my looking over my shoulder nonchalantly in front of a mural Downtown Fort Smith.

After a small break, I am here typing my two tiny broke finger nails off! I broke TWO nails this week, but thankfully they were the same nail on each hand so it works.

Last night me and Angela enjoyed a ladies night with good conversation and an AMAZING apple salad. LITERALLY apples sliced with cheese and lemon juice…I cant tell you ho much I wanna eat that again. As we were talking she said “This is a time of year I like to reflect.” I thought HOT DOG we are totally friends because that’s EXACTLY what my blog is going to be about this week! reflection. Memories if you will.

memories

If you cant hear this Picture and see the bubbles coming out of his mouth…Do a little 90’s movie education and you’ll thank me later.

Before we dive into my reflective ramblings, lets reflect on the past few weeks.

kas wedding

Here comes the bride, all dressed in champagne!! (that was her dress color) Shes a married lady! Her wedding was so perfect and the best reflection of who she is! (I’m going to keep using that word apparently) Halloween themed with a classy fall touch. The day was so exciting! We drank mimosas laughed and looked amazing in our pictures! (seriously tho, my friends are hot!!)

One memory that stands out in my mind, was when we were taking group pictures and Kas placed her head on Austin’s shoulder. It was a moment so sweet and so natural. I cant express the pure happiness I feel watching my friends marry their true love, Someone I know they will share the best life with!

kas wedig

And can we talk about how GORGEOUS she was. OMG A PRINCESS!!!!!! I told all my married friends I want to have pics of them on their wedding days in my home. weird? Maybe, but they just look so perfect and happy! I want to look at those pictures forever!

The cold has set in here in Arkansas and I’m afraid its here to stay. Last weekend I purged my closet and made room for big sweaters and jackets. I have been complaining  about the cold the last couple of days but as I got out last weekend and felt that crisp air, I was reminded of how much Joy this time of year can bring.

And Lets be honest Fall and Winter fashion is the best! I found this amazing leather jacket with lots of colors….its my new best friend. I feel empowered wearing it. Amazing what an outfit can do for your self-esteem.

With cold weather we get Holiday parties!! Me and my girls of course already have holiday plans in motion and first up is friends-giving. Last year our friends-giving was the best time I feel we have ever had. Some of my favorite memories with my friends are gathered around a table sharing a meal. And last year was perfect. There was so much laughter and food. SO. MUCH. FOOD. To avoid having so much food this year, Dani has orchestrated a list. An electrical list at that. (she hosts this event and even sets the table, like we are fancy people…ITS AWESOME) The planner in me LOVES the list to keep track who is bringing what…but I don’t have the heart to tell her we will in fact still end up with SO. MUCH. FOOD. Why? because we cant be trusted when it comes to delicious things. none the less we are becoming more organized! (whoop)

Now that we are all caught up, back to Ladies night with Angela. As we sat there talking and making friends with our server, we started…to reflect. (If this was an old movie I would have looked over my right shoulder longingly into the distance as the screen goes black and white and wrinkles to my thoughts..Imagine this with me)

At the beginning of this year I was happily working as a dental assistant and no desire or thought of leaving the office. My boyfriend was gearing up to start a business with his best friend and I was feeling like I needed something more in my life. Me and my family were gearing up for another major surgery for dad, and I’m still struggling with wanting more. Two of my best friends turned 30, One got married, One celebrated a one year anniversary and stated building a house, One had her first baby ( who I am so obsessed with! She brings so much joy into my life! as well as her mom!), and I’m still feeling like I need more in my life. Notice a pattern?

God has been placing this need for more on my heart for a long time. If you keep up with me, you know God sometimes needs to push me into plans he has for me. (I’m working on faith over fear) But thank the good lord above he never gives up on us and always so faithfully places me right where I know he needs me. I say needs me because I believe God places us in peoples lives because maybe they need something from us, or maybe we need something from them. As followers of christ we go where we are needed, or in my case pushed lol.

As all of these wonderful milestones around me were being reached by the women in my life, It forced me to sit down and think WHAT DO I, ME, LETHA MORGAN STEWART want out of life? And as Angela also said last night “You’ve got to be able to speak your mind for yourself.” Or something along those lines..Maybe not word for word.

Here’s what I came up with.

  1. I want to buy a house and make it my own. Decorating, organizing and remodeling has always been a passion of mine. Me and my dad have spent many Saturday mornings watching Chip and Joanna Gaines tackles the worst homes and make them beautiful again. I WANT TO DO THIS! I want to stop listening to people when they tell me “Its hard to do alone” “Its a lot of work and costs too much money” “do you even know how to do….”.  I have let so many opinions keep me from doing things i have a passion for in the past, but I will not let 2019 be filed with others opinions. I will fix my house, but I can bet money I wont do it completely alone. My support group is amazing and will do anything for pizza and wine :). I love hard work, Its the core of my personality and I’m a savvy shopper. I never take the first price as real…I can always find a better deal, ALWAYS. Lastly, I do not know how to do a lot when it comes to fixing things up but I do know the art of Google and YouTube.
  2. I want to finish school, And I DO NOT want to work in the health field. I know I touched on this in a previous blog, but we are reflecting so stay with me. I cannot stress enough how OKAY it is to change your mind about a career. Its okay to go back to school for something so different. For a long time I stayed where I was because I thought I didn’t have a choice. There is always a choice and its always yours. A little update, I will graduate December 2019 and I start a new Job January 2019 more inline with my new degree! I’m so excited for this new journey I never knew I wanted.
  3. I want to be more educated on worldly issues. As much as I trust friends and family, I want to form my own opinions. Its one thing I’m a little ashamed of, I have never really researched important topics. Things we all need to be educated on. We do after all live in this world.
  4. Number 4 goes with number 3, I want to be able to speak my mind and be able to back up my opinions with cold hard facts!
  5. Faith over Fear. Stop worrying about what i cannot control and focus on what I can. I touch on this in my blog Controlling the uncontrollable, if you haven’t yet read it you should!

Reading this you may be wondering why I’m writing a 2018 reflective blog in November instead of the end of December. The answer is simple, this time of year is blissfully busy and the new year will come faster than we can believe. If we start reflecting on who we have been now we can better know who we want to become in the new year.

  • Did we like ourselves in 2018?
  • Did we overcome something we thought we never would?
  • What can we do to improve ourselves?
  • How can we support and uplift those around us?
  • Who do we want to become?

We have two months left in this year! TAKE ADVANTAGE. Don’t let any moment go unnoticed. No word left unsaid. Play the Michael Buble Christmas album at the highest volume, Be super extra at your holiday party’s and make your family take matching PJ pics! I LOVE THOSE!!! Also stay tuned…me and my friends have started a tradition of holiday pics..last year was onsies..this year will be sooo extra ;).

Whatever your holiday season looks like, live it so extra and so loud! And dont forget to reflect on what this year has brought you, good and bad. In the mist of our struggle we find our hustle! (also from a previous blog titled the Hustle, a fabulous read)

I’m so excited for the weeks to come and even more excited to write about them!

Until next time

XoXo

-Letha

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